Tuesday, July 14, 2015

||   T I M E   ||


Sometimes life happens and you don’t even notice it, 
until one day you sit down or you look up and it all comes rushing in. 
Reality seems to have taken on a dream like quality. 
Your moments are no longer your own, 
and what was once days, weeks and months simply becomes…
forever.

Laying in bed thinking of who I was, who I am and who I’m quickly becoming,
 I contemplated what time means to me, being a mom.
Time is measured in a completely new way.
Time doesn’t matter, only in the context of making sure my baby is happy and healthy.
I seem to exist outside any realm I was previously used to. 
My concerns are based solely on helping, shaping and caring for another human being.

I imagined to myself it must be how God views time.
He is our father and we are His children,
His work is to bring to pass our immortality and eternal life.  
In essence His whole existence is to ensure His children’s happiness.  
Similarly I am Fiona’s mother and she is my child. 
I exist to help God ensure Fiona’s happiness.  
Time as I knew it does not matter.  
I measure it in love, in heartbeats, in smiles, in successes.
Only imagine if we existed to ensure millions of soul’s happiness,
 like God does.  
Time as we know it would become obsolete, 
and would only be measured in smiles, in successes. 
No wonder God is so merciful, so loving, so kind, so forgiving.
No wonder He only remembers the good and not the bad, 
He has no time.





Wednesday, March 11, 2015


“I wrestled before the Lord to make my life whole.”

At times it seems an impossible, never ending feat.
I can't seem to see beyond my weakness, 
the horrors that come out and choke me till my vision blurs and my sight narrows to one glaringly obvious fact; 
I am broken, I am horribly, horrendously  bent and torn in places. 
Where are my pieces? 
Where can I find them? 
Who has them?
Something tries to persuade me:
"No one, no one can help you, you are alone and broken forever." 
Oh what despair, what darkness, what agony!
And then I remember, I remember; 
Christ has already suffered for my pieces, 
He holds them for moments when I am ready to see them.

And so I pray, I plead with my God and His intercessory, Christ.

Please, God make me whole.
Submit my will to yours, 
mold me, give me what I need, 
what Thou must to reshape me.
 Ohh but please make me worthy of this sacrifice Christ gave.

Please God, without thee, 
without thy cleansing power my soul dies 
and I have place for the enemy of my soul.
Stay with me, comfort me, strengthen me, 
make me what thou wilt, but please Lord, 
make me whole.

Thy strength has seen me through days past, 
thy love and comfort have enveloped me and given me peace. 
Please Lord, I pray stay with me again. 
Envelope me again. 
Reach out Thy hand and comfort me in my agony. 
Open my mind to the visions I have received in the past,
so that I might remember Thee and thy comfort."

Oh Lord thy strength is known to me but I feel so unworthy. 
But because of the atonement of Christ I know I have part. 
I know thou hast already given me strength, 
prepared a way for me to have strength on the merits of Thy love, 
on the merits of Christ's love 
and the redeeming and sanctifying power of the atonement. 
That strength, your love, is ready and waiting for me daily, 
moment by moment to partake.

And in my agony I look up, 
I reach up, 
I pray up to Him and miraculously I am comforted 
and I am made whole.

He suffered for my pieces so that I can be whole. 
The agony I feel in moments does not compare to His. 
His is beyond my understanding, 
but I can understand, in part, what it does for me, 
and I am immeasurably, completely and wholly grateful.

I am made whole.

"The agony of Christ"



Monday, February 23, 2015


You know how they have" the funnies" in the newspaper,
well I'd like to add a column called "the crazies".
Mine would read something similar,
but condensed,
with more funnies inserted,
sorry, you get the quick long version:)

(click on the pictures to view larger)