Saturday, January 26, 2013





i’m dreaming..
dreaming of a home
a place my mister and i can claim
where everywhere is touched by us
where personality shines through
where creativity abounds

but mostly i’m dreaming of
little people
people chase and i can claim
where we can smile 
just because,
just because they are ours.

i dream of holding them tight
but setting them free
giving them an anchor
but letting them fly
i dream of their smiles their laughter
their little pajama clad feet
i can almost hear their little voices

i wonder if they’ll be more like me
or more like chase-
i panic wondering will we be good to them
will they be happy..
i panic wondering if i’ll forget the joy i feel 
just dreaming about them - when they are actually here

but then i see chase, i see our dreams


i close my eyes and realize whose in charge
i realize that He’s always been with me
He will be in this too.

i think we will be good parents
i think my kids will be happy.


Monday, January 14, 2013


Some things I’ve been thinking about are simple things;

It seems like, and maybe it’s just me, 
but the simple things are the hardest things.
I get confused on them more than the big things.
Specifically I get confused because 
others seem to not know the simple things or not do them – 
this confuses me.  
 It’s like when someone is smoking, why?  
 Why do that?   
We all know it has no perks and has vast negative effects, 
but people still do it!!!?
This may not make sense, but bear with me, if you can.

A lot of times I write or talk before 
I’m completely sure what I’m trying to say and 
eventually if I write or talk long enough I can pin down what I’m thinking.
Okay so here goes – my whole life I’ve always been 
told how important the temple is.  
 Okay simple enough right –
 the temple is important.   
Because it’s important we should go as often as we can. 

Okay great! So let’s do this right? 
Wrong.

Well what’s the problem?   
Why can’t we seem to get past 
the funk the haze of the things we know we should do,
 the things we’ve been told to do, and the actuality of doing them?
I feel like I’ve struggled with this in the past for so long.  
 But I’ve finally been breaking through. 
 I think the biggest step was when I started losing weight.  
 I knew to really lose weight I’d need to make a plan, 
eat less and eat better and work out.  
 Okay so let’s go!   
That was my thinking, and in the past this had never worked.  
 But somehow I actually wanted to do this.  
 I wanted to stop complaining about all the ways I wanted to change, and just do it! 
 I wanted results, I was hungry for them.  
 So day after day I made a conscious decision
 to do the steps that would give me the results I wanted so badly.  
 And you know what?  It worked!
What a concept right?  
 Actually doing the things you know you should do, pay off!!
So I feel like it is with everything in life.  
 I want to grow closer to God I want to do what he wants me to do. 
 But for a long time I was stuck in a rut of knowing and not doing.  
 I made excuses, I complained, 
I started plans with good intentions but gave up when I was discouraged. 
But once I saw what I was doing, making excuses, 
complaining and overall not being very happy.   
I took a good long hard look at myself and realized I didn’t like it;
 I didn’t like this wimpy version of myself. 
So then I thought what am I going to do about this?   
Am I going to act or merely be acted upon? 
 NO I could do this and it takes baby steps to get there but eventually you’ll get there. 
I wanted to have a goal to go to the temple once a week! 
Cause why the heck not!! 
It’s close, it’s beautiful, it makes me happy, 
and there are enumerable blessings that I can receive when I go.   
And not only that it helps me accomplish the thing
 I’ve been trying to do - to serve others.   
WOW all that can happen in a 2 hour period.   
Well let’s do this then! 
I started off strong and then tapered out a little and 
then was in my car accident and couldn’t go for a lot of months.  
 But then I said “Elise if you’re going to do this let’s do it right!”
 So I asked my Bishop if I could work in the temple – he said yes, 
I had an interview with the temple president’s counselor – 
they told me I’d start the following week.  
 And now here I am 4-5 months later, 
working in the temple every Saturday morning-   
SO happy!! You know why?   
Because I feel like I’m doing something.  
I feel like I can do anything!   
I feel like my perspective of this life and the next are 
coming into focus like I can reach out and grasp my future, my eternity. 
I think it’s a hard thing to learn in life that you aren’t a victim.   
You can do anything and I mean ANYTHING you want to do!
If you are unhappy change something.
 I’m amazed at the power we can find when we stop 
complaining stop criticizing and stop making excuses, 
and if we find ourselves doing this again 
after we’ve started down a new path we 
need to forgive ourselves and quickly start again!