words are insufficient to describe my heart, my soul, my mind;

where they were, where they are and where I hope they go.

I try to read, I try to write, I try to close my eyes and pray 

but still,

 words will not suffice.

but I’ll keep on reading, writing, and praying

because when words fail, 

feelings are more than sufficient.

have you ever felt a shift before?

not a shift you can explain,

but a shift that leaves you right side up

and sends you down the right road?

i’ve felt it but it means so much more now,

this shift.

i think it means more because I had further to come

i was desperate – hanging on the edge of my seat

wishing, hoping, praying,

losing my hope, my wishes, my prayers

then one day,

i shifted.

not by myself but with the greatest help of all.

my gaze, my thoughts, my feelings,

have all shifted.

and i am SO content, SO happy.

i can only imagine the next shift

how content, how happy,

can one person be?

infinitely

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http://abduzeedo.com/daily-inspiration-1095

-we had an unconventional thanksgiving- 

but a good one

we ate at tucanos followed by

watching the new lincoln movie

we missed our sister mary and her husband nate 

but can't wait to see them at christmas:)

hope you all had a good one!

"a sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves

and very much not ourselves -

a special kind of double"

- here's to the same person as me -

but oh so different:)

“His ways are not our ways”

i was working in the temple this morning

listening to a training about speaking as little as possible

to the patrons, (which is hard to do since we are taught speaking = friendliness),

allowing for the spirit to guide

when she said 

“His ways are not our ways”

and then she moved on

but i didn’t

this phrase has stayed with me all day

my first thought was oh yeah that is true

and then i thought 

but why?

and it’s obvious that we are human and imperfect

and He is eternal and perfect

then i thought but isn’t that we are striving for?

to become as He is, to “become perfected in him”

how can i do this if my ways remain my ways and not His ways?

isn’t that crucial to becoming like He is?

to adapt His ways, 

to strive to live as He lived

to reverence the things of God and to love our neighbors

but not merely to do this on the plain of our earthly experience

but to strive to do this on an eternal plain

why can’t we do this now on earth?  

why do we have to wait to be old or to die to adapt His ways into our lives?

these questions are glaring

they began as a whisper, a thought and now they are all i can think of

it brings me back to the talk in conference by jeffrey r. holland

his talk describes Christ’s meeting with peter after he was crucified,

the disciples, not knowing how to proceed, went back to fishing 

(what they had been doing before Christ gathered them)

Christ finds them there and asks Peter three times 

“Peter do you love me?”  

and Peter answers; “Lord,..thou knowest that i love thee”

quoting pres. holland;

“To which Jesus responded (and here again I acknowledge my nonscriptural elaboration), 

perhaps saying something like: “Then Peter, why are you here? 

Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, 

having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious 

now that if I want fish, I can get fish? 

What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. 

I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to 

preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, 

truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. 

Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task.

It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; 

it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history.

 It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world.

 So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, 

I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally 

until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me.

Then, turning to all the Apostles, He might well have said something like: 

“Were you as foolhardy as the scribes and Pharisees? 

As Herod and Pilate? 

mark mabry - photo

 

Did you, like they, think that this work could be killed simply by killing me?

Did you, like they, think the cross and the nails and the tomb were the end of it all 

and each could blissfully go back to being whatever you were before?

"Children, did not my life and my love touch your hearts more deeply than this?”

My beloved brothers and sisters, I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, 

but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, 

God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: 

“Did you love me?” 

I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, 

and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, 

the first and greatest commandment of them all—

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, 

and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.” 

And if at such a moment we can stammer out, 

“Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee,” 

then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. 

So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. 

We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. 

In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. 

We can’t quit and we can’t go back. 

After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before. 

The Crucifixion, Atonement, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ mark the beginning of a Christian life, 

not the end of it. 

It was this truth, this reality, that allowed a handful of Galilean fishermen-turned-again-Apostles 

without “a single synagogue or sword” to leave those nets a second time 

and go on to shape the history of the world in which we now live.”

.......

”Your Father in Heaven expects your loyalty and your love at every stage of your life.”

"To all within the sound of my voice

the voice of Christ comes ringing down through the halls of time, 

asking each one of us while there is time, 

“Do you love me?” 

And for every one of us, I answer with my honor and my soul, 

“Yea, Lord, we do love thee.” 

And having set our “hand to the plough,”

we will never look back until this work is finished 

and love of God and neighbor rules the world.”

how can i ever be the same?

how can i go back to merely "fishing"?

i haven't found this answer yet, i'm content to serve, ponder, pray and listen till perhaps one day;

my ways will no longer be mine but His ways

do you see?

can you see?

what happens when light shines through a still forest?

when light shines through a still forest that was only moments ago filled with darkness

does the forest change or is it just the beholder that changes

what if the beholder never actually sees the light 

never notices what changes?

if they never lift their eyes beyond their feet or beyond their thoughts of what comes tomorrow?

does the forest still change 

will the beholder experience this change?

no matter how dark a forest 
or how bright a light that shines on it 
the view will never change 
unless the beholder will see

and in seeing the beholder allows what they see by the light

to seep into their eyes 

into their thoughts 

and into their heart

no light, 
no matter how bright, 
can ever penetrate unless we first see

do you see?

will you see?

darkness exists naturally 

it’s not hard to find at any given time of the day 

even standing in the midst of the noon day sun 

all we need to do is turn our back or walk away 

and so it seems in this world of chaos that darkness is easy to find, 

it seems that it is even exalted and held up as truth 

but if we see beyond what our mortal eyes can see

if we move toward the light 
or even stand still with even the smallest desire to see the light 
we will.. 

we will find that light that waits,

in fact we will find that light that shines as bright 
if not brighter than the sun at noon day.  

In our mortal existence it’s not as easy as all that 

we find ourselves bogged down at times by darkness, 

sometimes even accepting darkness as our only reality.

But as we strive to find the light 

as take a step closer 
and closer 
we find that our reality of darkness wasn’t reality at all 

but an illusion of this world  

we find that our mortal eyes close 

and darkness abates 

and as our immortal eyes open light shines forth  

And when light is realized, 

when it is found 
it can’t be contained, 

it pours out,
 it seeps into the cracks that are dark, 

until all who will, can see that light
and be drawn towards it out of darkness

as i reach for the stars 

sometimes it feels as though they will never reach back

sometimes it seems that the light they give is blocked from my view

but then i find that it’s my own hand that is blocking the light

i find that as i rely on the light to first shine on me 

and then believing i reach out 
i stand up, i move on 

what i once was 
begins to evolve,
 it changes and progressses into what i was truly created for, 

who i was truly created to be

and as i trust and seek the light 
the light grows brigher and brighter

until it seems that the light is emitting from me  

but i know through experience the light isn’t coming from me at all 
but from the source 

and the source has lent me light 
so that others may see and come and gain light too

Arise and Shine Forth

This statement is exciting!

It implies an action, it requires change and progress.

Progress towards something greater then ourselves

Because it’s not just merely our own light we are shining forth

It’s the light of Christ! That lights all men that come into the world.

I gain hope from this, God did not merely put us down her on earth to endure

He put us here to have Joy and we can have the ultimate Joy as we Arise and Shine Forth

Arise
 Arise... sounds so grand and majestic it reminds me that I’m not merely human but a being

Of infinite worth and ability.

We can Arise in our day, arise above our weaknesses above the unclean things of this world.

Because we were not made for this world alone!  And we were not made to be alone.

As we arise and seek out the light of Christ and all his good works He will be with us and we will gain more and more light.

And as we gain more and more light we arise further and further. 

I struggle with my own weaknesses and the scary unsure things of this world like anyone else,
but oh what joy we can have as we look beyond ourselves as we see ourselves and others as God sees us.
He knows our weaknesses but tells us if we will come unto him he will make us strong!  
 If we come unto him he will give us power to do all things. 
Not just a few things, not just things of the spirit or of the body, But ALL things.  

Arise and Shine Forth is a message of admonition a message of hope and power. 
It reminds us of our eternal destiny and that our roll is not merely to live in the here and now
but that we lived before this life, that we now live and that we will yet live
through the Atonement of Jesus Christ our Savior. 

All things are possible.  Do not forget your worth,
do not forget Christ’s infinite love and trust in us,
he will guide us and lift us as we seek his light and in so doing we will Arise
and that light will Shine forth of it’s own accord
for God’s light is in and through all things.  

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